Yuubani, the women’s area of UNOSJO (Unions of Organisations of the Sierra Juarez Oaxaca) have allowed us to present the article “Sowing Seeds, Flying Kites” which was written as a result of a women’s meeting that took place in Guelatao in August 2009. In this meeting they reflected on their lives as women and the numerous forms in which violence exists within their families and communities, including ‘usos y costumbres’ which exist as forms of governance within many indigenous communities across Mexico.

      This document has enabled the presentation of concrete ideas and opinions of those women who participated on their lives as women in their communities. The creation of such spaces where such reflection can be achieved is something which Yuubani has wanted to deepen and extend in terms of including the voices of the men and children from other communities in Sierra Juarez, Oaxaca. With this in mind, a series of workshops were organised to take place in Asunción Lachixila, a Zapotec community around 8 hours from Oaxaca in the middle of the rainforest in the Sierra Juarez. In fact, the compañeras of this community were invited to the first meeting in Guelatao but due to distance and terrible road conditions, only one compañera was able to participate.

      For two days eight compañeras from a variety of organisations worked in groups of women, men and children from the community. For the workshops with the men and the women of the community, the main themes worked on were: the lives of women and the existence of violence, health and ‘usos y costumbres.’ 

      During the two days of workshops those members of the community who assisted the workshops shared and discussed their experiences, opinions and ideas for ways to confront and solve the existence of violence and gender inequality. The men and women discussed these issues in separate groups but to conclude their work each group presented the results of their workshop, including the children whose workshop entailed the use of theatre to discuss similar themes of emotions and expression.

      The presentations allowed the women the time and space to express their fears, worries, hopes and ideas for change in front of the men, the men in front of the women and children in front of their parents. This step towards working and sharing ideas together, as a community, was a great one. In this respect, the workshops were very successful in the community members themselves planting possible ideas for moving towards greater gender equality. For example, the possibility of allowing women the right to work in the community assembly was one idea. The workshops also helped to highlight the areas which will need much more work and time, such as violence within partners, families and the community. What was clear from the meeting was that many community members want to make changes in terms of gender equality and violence but that clearly it is something which will take its time.

      The compañeras who facilitated the workshops are planning on returning to Lachixila to continue the work that was started, with the hope that together, the community make the changes that they wish to make. If granted permission, the document summarising the opinions and ideas expressed during the meetings by the men, women and children of Lachixila will be uploaded onto the Casa Chapulin website.

 

Declaration Document of the first meeting – Women’s Workshop “Sowing the Seed”

Sowing Seeds, Flying Kits

Yuubani Women’s Area, UNOSJO S.C. 

In August 2009 we met with a group of women in Guelatao coming from a variety of places. We came from Santa María Zoogochi, Santa María Josaa, Asunción Lachixila, Santiago Comaltepec, Ixtlán, San Juan Evangelista Analco, Ex hacienda de Santa Gertrudis Talea de Castro, Guelatao, Valles Centrales, Etla, Germany and Spain.  We called our meeting “Sowing the Seed”, because as women we know a lot about cultivating the earth, just like the cultivation of relationships in order to make life possible. Our intention to meet was to ask ourselves which ‘usos y costumbres’ we would like to sow in order for our lives and the welfare of our communities to improve. We made this document in the hope that our voices are heard and recognized, with the hope that our voices will be able to create networks and contribute to women in similar situations, with the hope that together we can recognise and stop the violence that hurts us so.  

We don’t want to be footballs, enough!

Often, as women we are treated like footballs. Like footballs, we do not form part of any teams, we are not asked to give our opinions, we are not taken into consideration, we are kicked from one side to the other, but we are the ones who have to be here in order to continue this game as without us, it could not continue. We do not like to feel like we are being played with. This realisation has made us think that now it is time to change the game. Sometimes we want to change it so that we become a stick which could hit, other times we want to be players and start to kick. What most of us really want, however, is to stop playing games of this type where as long as there are players, there must be footballs too. We are well aware of the consequences of this game. It takes away our voice; making us feel like we are mute. This game invites blame, sadness, fear, anger, illness and regret into our lives as well as tiredness from having to do everything and care for the whole world without out anyone looking after us. 

This is not good for us because as women we can decide what we want and how we would like to play our own game for ourselves. We want to stop being treated like footballs; no one should be treated as such.  

We prefer to be kites

This comes from the knowledge and understandings of those who lived before us, something they have been using for many centuries in order to survive. With respect to our wishes and hopes, they reflect what for us, is important. We want the wealth of women to be recognised and for this wealth to be contributed in the world. Women give life. Many of us have learnt from other women the strength to continue moving forward. For example, one of us learnt from other women how to find love in places where extreme pain had once existed through a friend saying that they believed in her and was there to accompany her through the difficult times. Another one of us saw her granddaughter for the first time and felt so much love despite having lived the pregnancy of her daughter as something very painful. We are moved by the wish to be free, to be able to decide about our bodies and our lives. We know for this, we need our health.

In times of difficulty, what has helped us to continue moving forward is to continue together, weaving networks, learning from our differences, from the knowledge and experience of one another. This has made us become “like sisters”, recognising that the problems are the same as we are all women.  Some of us have noted how we are changing, and that we are no longer going to allow violence. We want to fly like kites with the understanding that the wishes and dreams of our lives in the long-term, can continue to change. We want to fly because it is not good to stand still, scared to fight for what we wish, for what we need. To stand still is what causes us damage.  

Violence kills love

We have grown up believing that love and violence are clearly distinct from one another and as such, we ask how, in so many occasions, they become confused with one another. So many times we have seen the tricks used by violence to disguised itself as love through jealousy, how sometimes men do not allow us to go out or walk alone, thinking that that is love. Another way in which love is confused for violence is when they tell us that “you have to stay in a relationship for the children.” One of us here knows through experience that this is not true; with great sadness she witnessed how her daughters distanced themselves from her for not ending such a situation. Soon after, her daughters started to defend and animate her to separate from her husband.

Violence takes away or hides the words to name love. Some women have lived so much violence that it stops us from seeing the love which we have also experienced in our lives, as if we do not have enough words to name what is love.

Violence leaves holes in our bodies, just as sadness, blame, impotence, anger and fear. These holes can become converted into illness, anguish or desperation. For many, violence is like having chains around our feet; constantly feel that we are hanging. Often men make us believe that what we do is not worth anything and that without them we could not do anything. This makes us lose confidence in ourselves.

We know that love leaves other, very different, holes in our bodies and for this reason we know that love and violence are not the same. Love gives us the sensation of tranquillity, trust, happiness, security and tenderness.

It is very important for us to share and listen to one another in order to continue giving words to explain the love we have experienced, recognising the small gestures made by a friend, by a mother or by a son or a daughter. We know that love exists when we are asked questions, when we are encouraged and recognised - when what we do is valued by, for example, something as simple as being thanked for making a meal.

Sometimes we do not realise that violence exists, but now we know that it exist in many places, even if we cannot always see it. Even for this meeting, some women could not be here as the men of their communities did not allow them to use public transport alone, thinking it was not an urgent matter that they arrived here to participate.

We believe that in order to eliminate the violence in our lives, there is a need to grant women the attention they deserve. We need to make and maintain the unity in order to counter-act everything that is happening. We know that, even though we are many more, we must recognise the strength of each woman here who have been be able to participate. When someone says that women want power, we say to them that yes, we want power but not the kind of power that they think (that of kicking footballs). In fact, it is the power to do things for ourselves, our families and our communities that we want; the power to live a life with dignity - the power of a kite.  

Sowing new ‘usos y costumbres’

We have asked if it is possible to sow new ‘usos y costumbres,’ after noting how violence exists within them. There are beautiful things about old customs, many of which we continue to live, such as the ‘gozona’ but there are also things which are not so good. For example, our grandmothers have told us of the cruelty that existed once they were married off and had to hold out being treated as subjects of their husbands, their mothers-in-law, women suffered a lot.

Throughout our meeting we have been able to understand that ‘usos y costumbres’ have their good points because they were left by our ancestors, and have been transmitted from generation to generation. We know that some ‘usos y costumbres’ allow mutual sharing, exchange of harvest and food, the ‘tequio’ and the ‘gozona’, which maintain a unity within the community and gives us strength,

However, we have seen that when violence masks itself as ‘usos y costumbres’ it does not allow for progression in our communities and it affects us equally. For example, ‘usos y costumbres’ which leave girls with less opportunities to go to school as due to ‘custom’ they are expected to work in the house. Or in community meetings, we are not given the space to give our opinion as they say that we are not interested or we do not have a vote when it is time for the authority elections. ‘Usos y costumbres’ which rob us of our girls through forced marriage or which justify forceful sex, when there is no voluntary consent. The lack of any orientation about menstruation, about the prevention of pregnancy or the way in which we are obligated to give birth lying down are all further forms of violence. ‘Usos y costumbres’ which affect single mothers and widows who have to carry out responsibilities in the community as well as having to continue attending the house. Or how we are not able to enjoy community celebrations as we spend the majority of the time stuck in the kitchen. Beliefs, for example, when they say women cannot ring the bells as they say they will break. We think that these ‘usos y costumbres’ give power to men who have the responsibilities in the community and within the family. It is this which makes them believe that they can decide about our lives.

For us it is important that we make ourselves heard, that we do not stop saying what is not acceptable, that which causes us pain. We believe that changes must be made through discussions, radio programs or workshops which give us the time to participate. We want the men to participate in the workshops as well so that they see and learn how we feel. We would like them to value the work of women within the community and to consider that some work can be shared more. We believe that the most important thing we must do is confront the violence which exists and which hurts our communities, to be able to educate our daughters and sons to confront this life so that they grow up with different ideas.

During these days of the meeting, through tears and laughter, we have been able to attach words to many feelings. We have been able to realise that love and violence do not go together and that we must create more spaces for women to meet in order to recognize and support one another. We have sowed the seeds of other ‘usos y costumbres,’ of other forms to see the world and relate to one another. We leave full of hope because we know that our way of being and feeling makes the world. Women in all of history have  given and maintained life and now we know that we want to continue doing so but far removed from any kind of violence.  

                        Guelatato de Juarez, Oaxaca, 22^nd August  2009

                                                          “Long life to Butterflies”

                                      In memory of the sisters Miraval